Iranian Jokes - جوکهای فارسی - Persian Jokes

Medical school admision

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 23:21:00 +0000

In the Medical College
A Medical college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a medical student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."

جوک بعدی

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maskhareh jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:27:00 +0000

سه تا ترك كه دير به قطار رسيده بودند، دنبال قطار دويدند. دو تا از آنها با زحمت سوار قطار شدند. آخري كه به قطار نرسيده بود، ايستاد و شروع كرد به خنديدن. از او پرسيدند: حالا كه از دوستانت عقب افتاده‌اي چرا مي‌خندي؟ او گفت: آخر من مسافر بودم و آنها براي بدرقه آمده بودند!

جوک بعدی

COMPUTER TECHNICIAN NIGHTMARE

One of the highest ranking officers in my company phoned to say his
screen was black on his laptop. I asked him to try to press the
function key that swaps to an external monitor to no avail. After
asking about power lights and disk accesses I decided to go to his
office and take a look. When I was handed his laptop, the screen came
away in my hands. He dropped it and smashed the hinges. When I asked
why he didn't say that the screen was snapped off, he replied that he
didn't think it was important.

jokestan jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:26:00 +0000

يه روز يه تركه راديو پيام رو روشن مي‌كنه. راديو مي‌گه: مسير آزادي به امام حسين بسته است. تركه مي‌گه: بابا چرا قسم مي‌خوري، نميخواد، همه باور مي‌كنن!

جوک بعدی

Chemistry is physics without thought.
Mathematics is physics without purpose.

persian jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:26:00 +0000

جوک بعدی

Chemistry is physics without thought.
Mathematics is physics without purpose.

farsi jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:26:00 +0000

مارمولكه ميره مشهد، ميشه مشمولك! چند وقت بعد بزرگ ميشه، ميشه مشمول... ميبرنش سربازي

جوک بعدی

Resident

The resident began his examination of an elderly man by asking him what brought him to the hospital. The man replied, "An ambulance."

irankicks jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:26:00 +0000

از يه زن ميپرسن: فرق تو با حوا چيه؟ ميگه هيچي... فقط شوهر اون آدم بود، شوهر من آدم نيست!؟

جوک بعدی

Dentist

Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock cricket game.

alihessami jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:25:00 +0000

خانمی به مطب دکتر ميره و ميگه: آقای دکتر، من مدتيه که بدجوری نفخ دارم. گلاب به روتون، راستش باد شکمم نه بو داره، نه صدا، اما خوب، اذيت ميکنه. همين الآن توی اين اتاق تا حالا چند بار... اما ميبينين که آدم متوجه نميشه!
دکتره ميگه: هر روز از اين قرص دو تا بخوريد و يک هفتهء ديگه تشريف بياريد.
خانمه بعد از يه هفته مياد و با ناراحتی ميگه: آقای دکتر، نفخ شکمم بهتر نشده، تازه الآن بوی گند هم ميده!
دکتر ميگه: خوب، پس انگار وضع قوهء بوياييتون بهتر شده. بايد يه فکری به حال قوهء شنواييتون کرد!

جوک بعدی

A bad cough

A fellow with a bad cough comes into the pharmacy, walks up to the
counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him that the
phamacist is not available. The man asks the young clerk if he can
recommend anything for .
The clerk gives him abottle of some medicine for his cough. The customer
takes a big sip, then after few minutes with no apparent relief, he takes
another, and another.
In a short while, the pharmacist returns, and sees his old friend, the
customer with the cough, sitting queitly in a booth near the soda fountain.
He says to his clerk that the fellow has never before stopped at the soda
fountain.
The clerk proudly tells the pharmacist the story of his transaction. The
pharmacist looks at the recommended medication and angrily reprimands
the clerk for recommending a laxative instead of a cough syrup.
The clerk reminds the pharmacist that whatever the mode, the
medication is effective as he's now afraid to cough.

anf jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:25:00 +0000

دوتا بنز باهم ازدواج ميکنن. بچه‌اشون ميشه ژيان! ميرن پيش دکتر و ميپرسن: چرا بچه‌امون ژيان شده؟ دکترميگه: آخه ازدواجتون فاميليه!

جوک بعدی

Quacking Up
A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, "That'll be $1.49."
The duck replies, "Put it on my bill!"

rezachachoo900 jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:24:00 +0000

خانم زيبايی ميره به داروخانه، روی ترازو ميايسته و سکه‌ای به درونش ميندازه. بعد با چشمان گردشده جيغ کوتاهی ميزنه، از ترازو مياد پايين و پالتوش رو درمياره. دوباره ميره روی ترازو، يه سکه ميزندازه، جيغ ميزنه. مياد پايين، کفشهاش رو درمياره. دوباره ميره روی ترازو، يه سکه ميندازه، جيغ ميزنه. مياد پايين، پولوورش رو درمياره. ميروه روی ترازو، يه سکه ميندازه، جيغ ميزنه. مياد پايين، ميبينه سکه‌هاش تموم شدن. وقتی ميخواد پول خرد کنه داروساز لبخندی ميزنه و ميگه: نه خانم، از اينجا به بعدش مجانيه!

جوک بعدی

What's in a Name?
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

jokesara jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:24:00 +0000

- آقای دکتر، من نميفهمم! آخه مگه ميشه؟ من ۹۴ سالمه، اما خانم سی‌ساله‌ام حامله شده! من نميفهمم!
- ببين پدر جان، آروم باش، بذار خدمتت توضيح بدم. فرض کن رفته‌ای به يه جای سرسبز، قدم بزنی. يه خرگوش رو ميبينی. عصات رو ميگيری طرفش، داد ميزنی: تق! يهو خرگوشه ميفته زمين و ميميره. جريان چی بوده؟
- خوب معلومه. يکی ديگه همزمان با تفنگ واقعی شليک کرده.
- آها... ميبينی که فهميدنش اونقدرها هم سخت نيست!

جوک بعدی

Doctors
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."

linkestan jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:24:00 +0000

يارو آخر عمري بچه هاش رو جمع ميكنه به هر كدوم يه تيكه چوب ميده ميگه بشكونين. همه ميشكونن! به هركي 5 تا دسته بيل ميده ميگه بشكونين. همه ميشكونن! به هر كي 10 تا دسته بيل ميده ميگه بشكونين. همه ميشكونن! به هر كي يه بسته دسته بيل ميده ميگه بشكونين. همه ميشكونن! ميگه حيف كه همتون خرين وگرنه نصيحتتون ميكردم.

جوک بعدی

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.

The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it know?"

iryahoo jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:23:00 +0000

از سه تا ترك مي‌پرسند كه كي به دنيا آمديد؟ اولي مي‌گويد: در نيمه اول سال، دومي مي‌گويد: در نيمه دوم سال، سومي مي‌گويد: لابد منهم در وقت اضافه!

جوک بعدی

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.

Socrates

golpesar jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:23:00 +0000

تركه سوار هواپيما ميشه، ميشينه كنار دست يك پيرمرده. خلاصه سر صحبت باز ميشه و اين دوتا نسبتاٌ با هم رفيق ميشن. وسطاي راه، يك مهمون دار مياد از پيرمرده ميپرسه، پدر شما شكلات ميل داريد؟ پيرمرده ميگه: نه خيلي ممنون، من بواسير دارم. مهمون داره از تركه ميپرسه: شما چي؟ تركه مياد تريپ رفاقت بگذاره، ميگه: نه مرسي. اين رفيقمون بواسير داره، باهم ميخوريم!

جوک بعدی

Fire

A farmer rushed to his phone one day to report that his nearest neighbor's
house was on fire. He
promptly called 911 to report the fire. In the calmest voice he could
muster, he reported the fire
was at his neighbor's house two miles down the road. The dispatcher asked
"How do we get
there?" The farmer hesitated a few seconds then asked, "Don't you guys have
those big red trucks anymore?"

jokeiran jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:23:00 +0000

تركه داشت اظهار نظر مي‌كرد: اين جلال آل احمد كه هي ازش تعريف مي‌كنن، فقط يه كتاب خوب نوشته كه اسمش بوف كوره. يكي گفت: بوف كور كه مال صادق هدايته! تركه گفت: ديگه بدتر، يه كتاب خوب داره، اونم صادق هدايت براش نوشته!؟

جوک بعدی

$200

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived
far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad
and send me the bill."

Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he
got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some
incidental expense.

Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man
called his brother again to find out what was going on.

"Well," said the other brother, "you said to do something nice for
Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo."

jokebazar jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:22:00 +0000

يك آباداني رفت خون بده براي جبهه. ازش پرسيدند: چند سي‌سي خون مي‌خواهي بدي؟ آباداني يه نگاهي به اطراف كردن و گفت: من سي‌سي مي‌سي حاليم نيست. شيلنگ بزن وصل كن به جبهه!؟

جوک بعدی

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a pothole?

A: People will try to avoid hitting a pothole.

iranmania jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:22:00 +0000

به خرگوشه ميگن: تو چرا اينقدر هويج مي‌خوري؟ ميگه: هوينجوري...!

جوک بعدی

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips are moving.

roozi jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:22:00 +0000

سه تا آباداني داشتن براي هم خالي مي‌بستند. اولي مي‌گه: من مثل حضرت علي هستم. با يه دست در خيبرو از جا مي‌كنم. دومي مي‌گه: اين كه چيزي نيست. من مثل حضرت عباسم. با يه ضربه شمشير 100 نفر رو مي‌كشم. سومي چيزي نمي‌گه و زل مي زنه به دريا و ساكت مي‌شينه. دوستاش ميگن: كا... چرا چيزي نمي‌گي؟ ميگه: تا حالا ديدي حضرت مهدي حرف بزنه؟

جوک بعدی

The Blonde

In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in
a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs
away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding
the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping
out the drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches
her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking
if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you
see I'm winning??"

farsijoke jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:21:00 +0000

مارمولكه ميره مشهد، ميشه مشمولك! چند وقت بعد بزرگ ميشه، ميشه مشمول... ميبرنش سربازي

جوک بعدی

Resident

The resident began his examination of an elderly man by asking him what brought him to the hospital. The man replied, "An ambulance."

sonycard20 jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:21:00 +0000

از رشتيه ميپرسن: ممد آقا، بچه كجايي؟ ميگه: خودم بچه رشتم، ولي بابام بازار مشترك بوده!

جوک بعدی

The nurse said to the doctor, "There's an invisible man in the waiting room." The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him now."

irjoke jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:22:00 +0000

سوسكه به خودش نارنجك ميبنده، ميره زير دمپايي!

جوک بعدی

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it.

Franklin P. Jones

isfahan jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:21:00 +0000

مشهدیه ميره توالت، بعد يك ربع با دهن خوني مالي مياد بيرون. رفيقش ميپرسه: چي شد فرهاد؟ لره ميگه: گي بگيرن، مسواكش خيلي بزرگ بي!

جوک بعدی

I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."

bikaran jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:20:00 +0000

تركه و اصفهانيه و همدانيه مرحوم ميشن. اون دنيا ميرن جلو در بهشت، تا ميان برن تو يارو دربونه يك نگاه به پروندشون ميكنه، با لگد پرتشون ميكنه بيرون! خلاصه همينجور دم در بهشت ولو بودن، يهو همدانيه ميبينه دارن يك جنازه ميبرن تو بهشت، اينم بدو بدو ميره زير جنازه رو ميگيره و لااله‌الا‌الله گويان ميره تو. يك مدت ميگذره، اصفهانيه ميبينه يك جانباز داره با ويلچر ميره تو، اينم بدو بدو ميره پشت ويلچر رو ميگيره و ميره تو. تركه خيلي شاكي ميشه، هي دور و بر رو نگاه ميكنه، ميبينه پشت بهشت ساختمون سازي دارن، يك فرغون افتاده اون گوشه. خلاصه فروغون خالي رو ور ميداره ميره جلو در بهشت. دربونه ميپرسه: چيكار داري؟ تركه ميگه: كوري نميبيني مفقود الاثر آوردم؟

جوک بعدی

Bacon and Sausage

A man was frying a piece of sausage and a piece of bacon in a large frying
pan.

The man left the room, and the bacon stood up and said, to no one in
particular, "Man, it's hot in here!!"

The he laid back down, and it made a sizzle sound.

Then, out if no where, the sausage stood up. He looked around and said, to
the bacon, "I know what you mean!"

Then he laid back down, and it made a sizzle sound.

Immediately the bacon stood up and started screaming bloody murder.

"What's wrong?" asked the sausage, who was now standing back up.

The piece of bacon stopped screaming just long enough to say, "TALKING
SAUSAGE!!!!!!!!"

abadan jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:20:00 +0000

يه روز يه تركه مي‌بينه وسط ميدون يه چيزي ريخته. ميره يه انگشت ميزنه و ميزاره توي دهنش و مي‌گه: مزه قورمه‌سبزي كه نمي‌ده... يه انگشت ديگه مي‌زنه: مزه خورشت قيمه هم كه نمي‌ده... دوباره يه انگشت ديگه مي‌زنه: مزه كوفته هم كه نمي‌ده... خلاصه، نصف قضيه رو هي انگشت، انگشت ميخوره و يه دفعه ميگه: اه اه اه... اينكه عن بود... خوب شد كفشم رو روش نزاشتم!

جوک بعدی

The Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the
best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive
investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,
killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no
apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten
raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

amojon jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:20:00 +0000

تركه پسرشو ميگذاره دانشكده افسري، رفيقاش بهش ميگن: بابا اينكه درسش خوب بود، ميگذاشتي دكتري، مهندسي چيزي ميشد، تركه ميگه: آخه ميخوام وقتي درسش تموم شد باهم كلانتري باز كنيم!

جوک بعدی

Two Eskimos

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a
fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

bedehi jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Bubblewrap) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:19:00 +0000

يه روز يه مار، اند افسردگي بوده... سرشو انداخته بوده پايين و داشته ميرفته كه يكي بهش ميگه: كجا ميري؟ ميگه: دست رو دلم نزار كه خونه... دارم ميرم خودمو بكشم...! يارو ميگه: چرا؟ مگه چي شده؟ ماره ميگه: داستانش طولانيه.... 5 سال از اين راهي كه ميرفتم سر كار، وقتي به اينجا مي‌رسيدم، توي اون زمين چمن رو كه نگاه مي‌كردم، مي‌ديدم يه مار خوشگل و خوش هيكل، خوابيده توي چمنهاي اونجا و داره آفتاب مي‌گيره. من عاشق اون ماره بودم تا اينكه امروز بعد از 5 سال به خودم جرات دادم و گفتم برم باهاش آشنا شوم. وقتي رفتم جلو و صداش كردم ديدم كه شيلنگه

جوک بعدی

Australian Joke

This Australian truck driver is looking for a long distance driving job in
Adelaide. He gets offered a job driving a load of bowling balls to
Darwin. He's not too keen on this , but he needs the money and so takes
off. A while along the highway he sees two Aborigines with a bike, in
the middle of nowhere. So he stops and asks if they would like a lift.
They say OK. The truck driver says, "All right, hop in, but you'll have
to ride in the back."
A 100 km down the road he stops at a truck stop, which amongst other
things, involves a load inspection by the local cops. He is asked where
he is off to and he says "Darwin". The cops go round the back, open the
doors, slam them shut quickly and rush round desperately to the driver
saying, "For Chrissake get going to Darwin straight away and don't stop
- - two of your eggs have already hatched , and one of them has already
stolen a bike"